Apparently the keyword that has brought the most visitors to my site is "toddler". In these Michael Jackson obsessed times, I have to consider the sexual aspect of these searches, and frankly the idea of someone whacking one out over a twenty-two year old picture of me is hilarious.
Today I got the wrong bus back [...]
Firstly, a disclaimer: I’m not normally this grotesque. Well, not always. OK, I’m quite often this grotesque but I’m normally very charming about it.
The following is quite an everyday UK office story. In fact, the longer I stay in this office, the more I realise quite how true to life The Office is. Today two [...]
On my bus route home from work tonight I spotted six prematurely festive houses. With a good six weeks still to go I think the most accurate way to gauge the growing Christmas mania will be to record the mushrooming of incandescent vulgarity on the streets of Worcester.
The Legionnaire’s disease appears to be wearing off. [...]
Things people want today:
Kelvin wants curry; having seen the re-released Alien, I want Courtney to wear Sigourney Weaver’s knickers (or copies thereof); Frog wants me to dress up as an alien and take pictures; Courtney wants no part of this, but is always happy to have more knickers; the nation of England wants George Bush [...]
Dear Diary,
I am sorry I have not written in you for many days now. In Winter I find that staving off the demons of despair cannot be achieved by sitting in an English country garden; for some reason the cold and dark is their element, quite the opposite of what we are led to believe. [...]
This weekend Norwich’s unbeaten home run (this season’s longest string of home wins) was broken by Watford. And despite the title of the post above this one, I am not really coughing up blood. I am spitting feathers.
Finally, after much persuasion from James and the rest of the world in general, I have bought myself a little minidisc walkman. It’s a neat little thing. Tonight I am recording all my Wilco albums onto one disc. How utterly obscene!
I had a good weekend. Humble Boy at the Malvern Theatre on Friday night started [...]
As I was trying to get through another day of suspended animation in my air-conditioned, hermetically sealed office, I started browsing the company’s intranet. A number of random clicks found this gem of a discussion. I had no idea civil engineers were quite such fascinating types.
Subject: Blockages caused by re-cycled toilet paper.
Drab WelteringWorking on [...]
In fact, he loves us all. He told us so at least twelve times on Friday night when we saw him – and the rest of the Flaming Lips – treating us to a number of rousing tunes, quirky bits of video art and giant balloons. The best, and indeed only, gig I have seen [...]